Review performance of column adds/removes + useVirtualColumns default for grids with many columns

[amcclain]

Grids with a large number of columns can have noticeably poor performance when adding or removing many columns at once via the column chooser, or by loading saved state via ViewManager.

We should:

• See if we can pin down what a "large number" is in this context - is there any threshold where performance starts to fall off steeply (30 cols, 50, 70?).
• Review the current default value of useVirtualColumns: false. Refresh our memory as to any downside to always enabling, consider printing a console warning for devs if not enabled and colCount > threshhold, or have the grid auto-adjust the default based on colCount.
• Review if we could be updating column state more efficiently - performance hit seems especially bad when removing a bunch of columns at once - are we applying updates a column at a time, are we using the optimal AG Grid API?

(Filed as follow-up to Slack chat in #hoist on 2025-01-15)